Survivor's Guide Weeks Following Death

Issues of Immediate Concern In the days following a death, several decisions need to be made and information provided so the appropriate services can be arranged and pertinent documents filed. Included in the list of things to do are: meet with the funeral home staff, provide information for the obituary, plan and schedule the service and viewing, and arrange for a cemetery space. Each of these details will be discussed below. Meeting with Funeral Home Staff The arrangement conference with the funeral home staff is usually held in the first 24 hours after a death and generally lasts from 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It is important that an appointment is made and that everyone who wishes to attend is notified. In this meeting we discuss and/or finalize the documents that need to be filed and review services and selection options. Detailed pricing information will be provided prior to discussing your particular needs. The items to be discussed are listed on the Obituary Report provided by the funeral home and may include the following: Obituary Information: In which newspapers do you want to publish? Do you want to include a photo? When do you want the obituary to run? Other pertinent information about obituaries is included in a separate section later in this guide. Vital Statistics Information: Birth date and place, father's name, mother's maiden name, marriage/divorce dates, social security number, years of formal education, and usual occupation. Service Arrangements: Time, date, and place of services, person conducting services, time, date, and place of viewing, place of burial, military honors, etc. Planning for and scheduling the viewing and service are further discussed later in this booklet. Photographs: If the photograph you use for the newspapers was not taken recently, we may need a more up-to-date photo to assist us in our work. Clothing: What type of clothing would you like your loved one to wear? We have both burial clothing and LDS temple clothing available at the funeral home. Hair: Hair is professionally styled by our staff beautician or we can call the personal beautician of the deceased. Death Certificates: How many certified copies of the death certificate will you need? We order these certificates through the health department. Certified copies of the death certificate may be required to file insurance claims or to legally change names on deeds and property. Merchandise: You will be presented options for funeral program stock, thank you cards, register books, grave markers, caskets, urns, vaults, and burial clothing. Details on merchandise pricing can be found on our price lists. Cemetery: Your cemetery preference will be discussed, and we will assist you in making the appropriate arrangements. Further details on cemetery arrangements are discussed later in this booklet. Military Honors: The American Legion or local VFW posts are available to provide graveside military honors such as folding and presenting the flag, gun salutes, and playing Taps. We will make the arrangements with these organizations according to your wishes. Obituary Information Obituaries provide a brief biographical sketch of the deceased, name the survivors, and inform of service information. Obituaries can be published with or without a photo. Generally we type, prepare, and send the obituary to the newspapers in our basic format unless you have a specific request for customization. We prefer family members to proof the obituary whenever possible. Obituary information needs to be at the funeral home at least one hour prior to the newspapers deadlines so it can be put into the appropriate format, proofed, and sent on time. Items to consider when writing an obituary include: Picture: can be color or black & white; individual or group; large or small; older, younger, or both. Biographical Sketch: could include birth date and place; parents; places lived and/or educated; business, civic, religious, and/or military activities; hobbies and/or special interests. Survivors: typically spouse, children, parents, siblings, and grandparents are listed by name (including spouses name and place of residence); the number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren is listed; significant family members preceding the person in death are also mentioned. Newspapers and Deadlines: we will work with virtually any newspaper you wish. Each paper has its own requirements, formats, and deadlines. Scheduling & Planning Services Most often funerals and/or memorial services are scheduled 3-4 days following the death. This allows ample time to get information to the newspapers, to make the appropriate arrangements, and to plan the services. Services can be held at a church, the funeral home, the cemetery, or other appropriate location. Family members are encouraged to plan services which provide a fitting memorial for the deceased, furnish an opportunity to receive love and support from the community, and contribute to a healthy grieving process. We recommend that families consult their religious leader when planning services. Our staff is well trained to help you coordinate this part of the planning process. Viewing & Visitation Viewings provide an important opportunity for the family to confront the reality of death, see their loved one in a pleasant and peaceful circumstance, and receive much needed love and support from family and friends. In the Gila Valley, viewings are traditionally held for two hours the evening prior to the service and for at least one hour the day of the service. In most instances, viewings are held at the funeral home the evening prior to the service and at the church or funeral home on the day of the service. Viewing times and locations are at the discretion of the family and are subject to the availability of the funeral home or church. We are often asked to provide a forum for parents and children to discuss death before the viewing. We talk with the children about death and explain what happens during the funeral and viewing process. We are often told that these visits are one of the most important things we do. Cemetery Arrangements If you have not already done so, you will need to decide where you want to bury your loved one. We have a comprehensive list of the cemeteries in our area and the costs associated with purchasing a plot and opening and closing the grave. If a grave space has already been purchased, arrangements will still need to be made to open and close the grave. We will contact the sexton at your particular cemetery if you wish. Typically, cemeteries want as much advance notice as possible, and most require at least 24-hours. To assure the proper grave is opened and to verify payment, sextons often require a family member to come to the cemetery to authorize and designate the grave to be opened.